Thursday, May 7, 2009

Confession Of An MMO Addict

I came across this article today and thought to share with ya'll. It cracked me up so much but at some point this guy had spoken almost all my mind about MMO addiction. Of course, I've been there. Done that. Petter isn't alone. And here I quote his confession:
I guess an introduction is in order.

Hi, my name is Petter Martensson, and I’m a MMO-addict.
”Hi, Petter!”

I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking that I’m wasting away my life in an MMO —probably “World of Warcraft,”—and that I haven’t seen the sun in the last few years. I probably order my food online so that I never have to leave my apartment, and I make a living selling my extra gold on eBay. I also have 7 level 80 characters, and have never had a girlfriend. Or sex, for that matter.

No, that’s not at all what I mean. To be completely honest, I have been a rather major “World of Warcraft”-junkie, but I did have a job at the time and I did have a girlfriend (who played with me). I even had friends, though most of my closest friends actually played “World of Warcraft” on the same server as me.

I guess those things helped when denying my addiction, but that’s not really what I’m here to talk about today. I’m not addicted to an MMO; I’m addicted to MMOs. The phenomenon of virtual worlds. I’m completely hooked. Before you judge me, you should know that it’s quite easy to fall into the trap. Just look at yourself, you’re reading this feature at an MMO-related site. Soon, you might find yourself reading all kinds of MMO-articles on all kinds of websites. You might find that, inexplicably, your RSS-reader is starting to fill up with MMO-blogs. You start following the links found in the blogrolls at said blogs, sooner or later you are reaching for that subscribe-button without even thinking twice about it. After a while, you realize that you spend more time thinking about MMOs and reading about them than you are actually playing....

No, I definitely wouldn't be calling the kettle black. Tho' I'm not so much of a WOW fan myself. He's got his point. Then he went on saying ...

I’ve been trying to figure out how it all happened. Is it because I’m unhappy with my life (“IRL,” as you’re bound to call in normal conversations if you’ve been playing long enough) that I want to escape into a virtual one? There were times when I was playing “World of Warcraft,” raiding three to five times every week, that I actually considered that possibility. But now, I’m not sure. After all, I got a pretty good life. I get to write and talk about games (not only MMOs) for a living. And since I don’t play them as much as I think about them, and still see the sun and breathe fresh air almost every day, I at least hope that’s not the real reason.

The fact is, MMOs are fascinating in many, many ways. There are few games that can bring people together -– in either joy, sadness, anger or love -– in the same way MMOs do. The communities that spring to life around more or less every title, no matter how niche some of them can be, are wonderful things. Those communities can be incredibly rude and hardcore, or mindbogglingly nice and caring, but they are always there, often in place before launch and remain until the servers sooner or later close their doors.

Virtual worlds might be seen as the true crack cocaine of the games industry. But to be honest, I don’t think I would want to have it any other way. I love them for what they are, the stories they can tell, and the adventures that I can have in them with my friends. And I love reading, writing and thinking about them. There’s no way out for me, and I’m not sure I’d ever stop anyone from joining me here at the bottom of the well. After all, it’s a rather pretty well from this perspective.

My name is Petter Martensson, and I’m an MMO addict.

Posted by Petter Martensson

Full article can be read here.

Well, most online gamers do. Wrapping themselves with virtual beauty won't exactly elevate their real-life status. Neither will spending your inherited heirloom just so you get to ride an elite mount or something. This I speak from my personal experience. I had wasted an entire 63072000 seconds of my life addicted to Maplestory, with more than 8 so-called pro characters. I got so hooked up with leveling, keeping up with the community and dealing with some stupid in-game problems without realising I had been mentally, physically and financially duped. I can't remember if I ever see dawns then, but my health eventually suffered due to severe migraine and insomnia over a pretentious cute MMO. In the end, I quit. Out of my own will.

Kiss Boss

I used to ask myself, what if I managed to top the rank of Cass? Like level 200 and possessing every power, skills and fame I needed? The thrill of 1-hit-KO would only last awhile. And then what? And then Nexon prolly send some GMs to sprinkle confetti on my avatar's head or reward me a mushy plushy. Awww, how sweet! With all the effort, time, sweat and money? Oh and that satisfaction of achievement, you tell me. Priceless! Too bad I already quit before all the dramas pulled in on me. Thank you very much, Nexon. You're welcomed. :D

Now ask yourself these simple questions:

1. Do you play more then 5 hours a day/35 hours a week?
2. Do you attempt to look like your character?
3. Is your entire social life wrapped around this game?
4. Are you human?
5. Do you create a women character just so you can remove the clothes?
6. Are you gay?

If you answer yes to more than 1 of these, grats! you are addicted to your MMORPG.

Here is how to correct this:
Step 1) Limit your play time to 1 hour a day.
Step 2) Take a 2 week break from your game.
Step 3) You may play 30 minutes a day for a week.
Step 4) Quit your game for about 3 months. If you do not trust yourself not to launch the game, uninstall it, or have a trusted person hold the disks, or if you have the will power, even destroy the disks.
Step 5) You quit.
Step 6) You get yourself busy with other business.

If these steps fail to work for any reason at all, then there is a more experimental solution. You could hire an ex-military and/or elite cop, depending on severity of addiction, to hold a gun to your face (perhaps with the elite-favored C4 explosives around your abdomen too) every time you get on your computer and play the MMORPG. If this doesn't work then burn down your PC and give all your money to SPCA or some other meaningful organization.
solutions credit to: The Real Genius


mid9kitten - died being too act-cute. R.I.P approximately xx.08.2008. Amen.

2 mackerels:

tarkeeyo said...

seriously i don't find it too crackin' or it cracks me up. all i know is that once u're addicted to something, your life gonna change due to the addiction. it's all about how you control your addiction towards something. TOO ADDICTED = WHOLE LIFE UPSIDE DOWN.

kitten said...

RE: tarkeeyo

hmmm...I smelled it.............
looks like someone got more serious addictions to confess? =P

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