Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Who's The Boss?

So here is a little story about life.

One day, all the parts of the human body got into an argument about who was the most important.


The brain said "I control all thought processes, and without me the body would be a big slab of meat."


The heart said "Suck it bitch, I provide blood for all parts of the body, and without blood and oxygen, you would die."



The legs and arms said "Well without us, you couldn't walk or pick things up. Plus the hands have opposable thumbs. That is badass."


Then the stomach spoke, "I digest food and provide you with energy, I am awesome."


Next were the eyes who said "Well without me, you would run into shit and be like Hellen Keller."


The mouth was next saying "Not only do I break food down into digestible particles, I also allow you to communicate with others and perform oral sex."


The debating raged for awhile until a little voice spoke up. It was the asshole. "I am the most important by far. Without me, you all are nothing."


At that, the rest of the body parts laughed.


To this the asshole replied, "Now I'm angry...you don't want to see me when I'm angry." And the rest of the body parts laughed some more. The asshole decided to teach those other fuckers a lesson once and for all.


"Fine, we could have done this the easy way, but now it's on."


With that, he clenched really tightly and would not let go. Not too long after, the rest of the body parts started feeling very sick. But the asshole stayed clenched. Soon, the rest of the body parts were near death.


The brain spoke up "FOR GOD'S SAKE, OPEN!" But the asshole ignored him.


Finally, all the body parts agreed that yes, the asshole was the boss!


There was much rejoicing.



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